It’s January Girlfriends, have you kept your New Year’s Resolutions? If not, you are in good company. Most people keep resolutions less than six weeks. I challenge us this year to make a commitment to living happy, balanced, and fulfilled lives! How, you might ask? You gain this life by making some small simple changes daily.

Set aside some time this month to reflect over your life to date. Think about what makes you happy (activities, people, work, etc.) Review your accomplishments, challenges, and failures. Make incremental and necessary changes to achieve the life you really want to be living. As you begin this process, set aside some time to create a spa-like atmosphere. Begin with a luxurious bath with candles. Play soothing music. Get away from your everyday distractions.

Write down your answers to these four simple questions in a journal that you can keep and refer back to throughout the year:

1. When my family, friends, and co-workers celebrate my 85th birthday, what are the six things I want to hear them say about me? They should be personal, career, extracurricular, etc.
2. Who are the people I enjoy being around and what are the activities that I get pleasure out of doing?
3. If I were independently wealthy, what kind of work would I do? Don’t tell me ‘nothing’ because most of the wealthiest people work everyday – the difference is they do what they love.
4. What are the incremental steps that I need to do everyday to make my dreams come true?

Be kind to yourself during this self-assessment. Celebrate your accomplishments. Most of us never take time to pat ourselves on the back. Forgive yourself for your failures. We all make them and you forgive everyone else when they make them. Remember that just like January brings us a new year, every day brings us an opportunity to start new and fresh!
YOU CAN REINVENT YOURSELF BY DOING THE FOLLOWING:

RENEW your commitment to yourself daily. Most of us will go to great lengths to keep promises to family members, friends, and co-workers, but won’t commit to a lifelong plan of eating healthy, drinking water, getting eight hours of sleep nightly, exercising for 30 minutes daily, and surrounding ourselves with as much positive energy as possible.

REHEARSE daily affirmations that remind you of your own personal beauty, inner strength and goals. Take time to write them out and put them on your bathroom mirror or somewhere that you will see them everyday. They don’t have to be fancy or lengthy. They could be as simple as “I am beautiful, happy and healthy”; “I am a creative writer and I will write three pages today”; “I am the source of my happiness and peace – I will spread both of them today”.

REORDER your priorities. Too many of us waste time and energy on activities and people who don’t advance our goals for ourselves. Fill your time with activities and relationships that YOU have deemed a priority in your life and that help you to get what you want out of life.

REACQUAINT yourself with activities you enjoyed as a child/teenager. Go to adult skating, go bowling, read mystery novels, write poetry, knit or crotchet, go to plays – but do something that brings you pleasure and fulfillment.

RESTORE relationships. Unforgiveness, anger and unexpressed emotions are contributing to the extreme amount of stress and high rates of preventable diseases that plague women of color. Make the choice to forgive those people who have intentionally and unintentionally hurt you. If you can’t forgive and move on through your own process of self-examination, get some professional help. There is no reason carry any more baggage than we have to.

REMEMBER to love yourself everyday. Tell yourself that YOU love YOU. Look your best every single day. Take some ‘Me-Time’ every day. For 30 minutes, give yourself permission to focus just on yourself. Then step out in the world and let everyone see the polished woman that you are!

Regina Dixon-Reeves, Ph.D.
Educational Consultant/Life Coach/
Motivational Speaker